


I’m Fine.

by CrazyReader03



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, How Do I Tag, M/M, My first story for this fandom, Run Marcel run, blood and throwing up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-07 13:56:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14672481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyReader03/pseuds/CrazyReader03
Summary: Hanahaki Disease, the only disease doctors cant official explain as to why it appears when someone’s love is unrequited. Delirious never taught he’ll fall victim to such a stupid disease. Until he did.





	1. A beginning or The end?

**Author's Note:**

> I taught I’ll give this Au a shot. It’s been years since I wrote and publish a story for a fandom so sorry if it’s meh. also furture apology for grammar errors and spelling, I wrote this while I was waiting for my final to start, and then it spilled out of control.

Red. The burning shade of red was engraved into Jonathan's mind as he hunched over his bathroom sink panting harshly. This shouldn’t be happening, it shouldn’t be possible but in reality it’s not a surprise. It’s not a surprise at all. He should have just stayed in his solo career but no, he just had to accept the job offer, he just had to make the group expanded, he just had to be an important player to the biggest gang in Los santos… he just had to fall in love.  
He clenched his fist in frustration and swallowed back the thorns and flowers that threaten to spew out at any moment. He doesn’t want to see them, see that he got attached when he shouldn’t, this is his fault. He should have stayed professional, he should have just left before this was possible. But he couldn’t, he can't. Because their his family now, his first family he ever had. 

With blurry eyes that held a terrible anguish and unshed tears Delirious looked at the red flower in the sink covered in spit and blood, he couldn’t identify it but it looked like a marigold but with the center bright yellow surrounding it’s seeds. It was beautiful but so unwanted, so unwanted. With a shaky sigh Jonathan turned on the faucet to start washing off the blood on the sink and the flower so he can properly dispose of it. Funny thing is, he just thought he was getting sick, that’s why his chest hurt and his throat itch but this was so much worse than boogers and a headache. 

As he picked up the flower to examine it, his lungs decided that there should be more and started choking him with his unrequited love. Jonathan stumbled to the toilet to violent hack into it, the petals and full flowers scratched as they were spewed out. Tears spilled into the toilet as Delirious struggled to keep his sobs quiet but the more he struggled to keep quiet the more he couldn’t breath. After an eternity he could finally breathe again and he took in greedy gasp of air. He was leaning on the toilet regulating his breathing when a sharp knock startled him.

“Delirious?” Basically asked hesitantly and Jonathan quickled realized the blood all over the pristine white toilet and the bright vivid flowers floating in the red dyed toilet water. “Are, you okay? Heard you from the hallway, that sounds pretty bad.” His concerned tone did not go unnoticed and Jonathan scrambled to answer “Ya—“ He cut himself off to cough as he realized his voice was wrecked “Ya, something I ate ain’t agreeing with me.” Marcel hummed a bit unconvinced but nonetheless said “Alright, if you say so, I bet Lui has like alcazar or something if ya want it?” Jonathan shook his head no but kicked himself as he realized marcel cant see him “Nah it’s cool, think I threw up all the pain.” 

“Ew gross.” Marcel laugh “Okay, dude hope you get better.” With that footsteps faded away and Delirious let out a sigh as he began getting rolls of toilet paper to clean up the blood on the toilet and sink. He flushed the blood stained paper and his flowers down the toilet and prayed they wouldn’t close up the pipes. Delirious felt light headed and a sense of dread fill him; how in the world is he going to hide this? Will this affect missions, ah whose he kidding? Of course this will affect missions.

There only three options here, 1) get surgery to remove this disease along with it, goes the affection you have for the person, 2) confess your feelings and if they reject you then you can go through the surgery without a sense of guilt and 3) Die with the flowers clogging up your lungs and throat.

With a groan jonathan hunched over himself and tried to ignore the itchy feeling in his chest as he grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled. It’s really no question to himself who he fell in love with, even thinking about them right now causes a tickling feeling in the back of his throat. He could always get the surgery, not all cases causes the person to feel apathy towards the person they felt affection for but does he really want to risk it? Want to lose everything he felt for the man who helped him through so many tough situations? Be able to look at him and act like he doesn’t matter? No, no he doesn’t deserve that, doesn’t deserve a good friend to act like a complete stranger or asshole.

Jonathan coughed into his hand and caught the petals that slipped past his lips. He looked at the bright red petals before he clenched them in his hand. He was going to do something about this that doesn’t involve doing surgery but god it wasn’t easy. Why delay the inevitable when his affections won't be returned? Why make him feel guilty over something as stupid as his feelings? 

With another weary sigh Delirious straighten up and did a quick look around to see if anything was out of place, when he didn't see anything he looked in the mirror. The sad pale face looking back did not surprised him and his makeup was fucked up from the tears and blood. With a sigh Jonathan took out his makeup pack and began to wash his face to re-do the whole process.

 

  
A good 30 minutes pass before Jonathan exited the bathroom and saw that marcel did in fact close his bedroom door after him and he couldn’t be more grateful. He flopped onto his bed to look up at the popcorn ceiling in deep thought. He can't keep this hidden, his team isn't stupid, they’ll immediately know something wrong if he keeps coughing but god damn. He doesn’t want to have this conversation with anyone let alone a conversation with the person that’s causing this.

Jonathan shoved a pillow on his face and kick the bed in a childish manner as he screamed out his frustration. Which over all was a bad idea as the already constricted lungs hated the lack of fresh air and stress the screaming caused. Loud coughing could be heard and Jonathan quickly sat up and covered a hand over his mouth as blood trickled down his palm. He took deep breaths through his nose and chewed and swallowed the flowers. 

It’s growing fast, why is it growing fast? There should only be a few flowers at the beginning stages, is he that badly fucked? Does he love him that much? Does he really know for a fact that his affections won't be returned?

A snort forced it’s way past the squeezing of his chest and Delirious flopped back down the bed to let out a humorless chuckle “Of course he won't return it. He’s straight.” His blood covered hand hangs limply off the side of the bed and Jonathan grumbled as he saw that he fucked up his makeup again. “Well, might as well see how long I can keep this a secret.” With that thought Jonathan picked up his mask and went to go wash his hands. If the coughing doesn’t give away that something up then delirious locking himself in his room definitely will. A deep breath in and out helped the tickling feeling become less infuriating and Jonathan opened the door to this bedroom and heard commotion from the living room.

You would wonder why the biggest gang in Los santos would get a two story home for their side base but in reality isn’t it the perfect cover up? They have no neighbors out here for a mile so no one can witness the suspicious amount of cars that come and go or injured people being rushed inside. The only downside is that you really can't get any privacy unless you’re in your room and half the time even that isn’t safe thanks to a certain Irish idiot and a squeaker. But still, they’re his family and he wouldn’t trade them for anyone else. 

As he by passed the living room to go into the kitchen Johnathan briefly saw the guys playing Mario kart on the 3 TVs the brought in from their rooms because they don't like playing Split screen. “Where is everyone?” He couldn’t help but ask the the four gang members as he leaned against the kitchen divider. “Died.” Was Lui’s immediately reply while Nogla said “I dunno.” With a huff Jonathan turned his attention towards Luke who was chillin on the couch “They went to go check up on area C warehouse 5, Scotty caught suspicious movement on the camera but couldn’t be sure its was someone tampering with something or a raccoon.” He explained as he fiddled on his phone and smiled at Marcel’s yelling profanities. However throughout the whole explanation, Delirious with a growing horror felt the irritation in his chest become more noticeable.

Jonathan turned away to try to hide his coughing as the petals tickled the back of his throat. Through clenched teeth he felt the petals get stuck and spit with blood wet his mask. He walked to the fridge in a nonchalant manner in order to hide his body movement and to not raise suspicion from his best friend. When he look at Cartoonz from the corner of his eyes he saw him look at him with confusion, clearly waiting for a reply to the racoon statement. And Delirious hastily chewed the petals and replied back to Luke’s comment “I hope they don’t hurt the raccoon, they’re my cousins.” Luke looked at him suspiciously for a second more then shook his head in a bemused manner and went back on his phone. “Of course they are, you trash panda.” 

Delirious closed the fridge in fake outrage “How dare you describe us as Trash Panda’s, We deserve more respect.” He exclaimed as he slammed his palm on the kitchen counter. Luke only reply was to give him the middle finger while laughing and Jonathan couldn’t help but laugh as well.  
  
Which was a very bad idea.

The flowers came back full vengeance and caused him to choke in mid laugh, he clawed at his throat as he cough and hacked the petals pass his windpipe and onto his face and mask. He didn’t realize he fell to his knees grabbing the counter with white knuckles as he struggled to breath. Ever noise faded away and his vision blacken at the edges as the dam flowers caught off his oxygen. In a haste he threw off the mask to give himself more room to breath. Flowers, blood, and spit rain down on the clean kitchen floor, mocking him and his unrequited love. 

When the worst of it passed he finally realized the hurtful grip on his shoulder and the hand rubbing his back. The voice that were muffled became clearer and through blurry vision thanks to the tears Jonathan turn to look at Luke who was helping him sit upright so he wouldn’t choke on his own broken heart. Confusion and fear were obvious on his best friends face which was being quickly replaced by Anger and Fear. Jonathan shook his head no and let the tears come freely and Luke’s grip on his shoulder grew tighter. 

Jonathan finally registered Nogla’s confused exclamations, Marcel’s panicked yelling and Lui staring numbly at the blood and flowers on the kitchen floor. “How long?” Luke’s voice broke through the mess of noises and everyone went silent, looking at Jonathan with mixed emotions. The clown kept silent “DAMMIT JONATHAN! HOW LONG!!??” You could hear Cartoonz voice tremble at the end of his sentence as he took both of his friends shoulders and forced Jonathan to face him. “Jonathan Smith. How long?” He demanded, the anger and fear fighting each other. 

“Today.” Delirious whispered as he looked down at the flowers that ruined everything. Lui made a choked off noise and shook his head in denial “No, this too far advance for it to be in the beginning stages.” Nogla gave Lui a confused look but Lui shook his head no. “Are you that in denial that your forcing the flowers to grow faster?” Lui begged for it not to be true but Jonathan's sad smile was the only answer he received. “Who is it?” Luke asked and this was the exact conversation Jonathan did not want to have, let alone with an audience.

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“OF COURSE IT MATTERS! YOU'RE DYING!” Cartoonz snapped as he tried to shake some sense into his friend. “I’m fine.” Was the weak retort and Cartoonz punched the counter with fury “YOU’RE NOT FINE! LOOK AT THIS JOHNTHAN! YOU ALMOST CHOKED TO DEATH RIGHT NOW!” The tears were running now and Jonathan felt like such an asshole to cause this pain towards his family but he just didn’t want to face reality, if he could convince himself that he’s confused then maybe these flowers would go away.

“Jonathan.” Lui mumbled as he came to crouch next to the ever laughing Batcoon “It’s not going to go away, not this advance. Trust me.” Jonathan looked at Lui and saw understanding in his eyes. “It’s either confess to them, get surgery or die with these flowers.” It went quiet as the situation finally sunk in and Delirious looked at the flowers on the floor. He began to cough again and didn't even stop the petals from falling out his mouth, there’s already a mess a few more petals won't make it worse.

“Johnathan, who is it?” Luke muttered as he looked at the vivid red flowers.

  
“Evan” Jonathan whispered.

  
  



	2. It’s okay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It ended but started something new.

The hiss of sympathy coming from Luke and the concern glances the other gave to one another was not helping Delirious feel any better in this situation. But he really couldn’t blame them because even they knew that this love of his was a lost cause. Honestly why did he even bother to hide the fact he got this disease? If it’s spreading this fast then he must make a decision quickly in order for him to have a successful surgery or risk complications during the operation. From the look on Luke’s face it seems that he’s come to the same conclusion.

“Jonathan.” He asked hesitantly but Jonathan shook his head no and numbly looked at the marigold look alike. “Please, just don’t tell anyone. Give me time to think.” Delirious raspy voice was loud in the too quiet kitchen and Cartoonz instantly opened his mouth to argue but a quick look from Lui made him shut his mouth. “That’s fine Johnthan, well clean this up, you go rest. A warm drink would help the irritation.” Lui stated like if he knew from experience and when Johnathan looked at him a sad smile was the only thing he received. “I’ll check up on ya later with that drink okay?” The squeaker said to dodge any questions that might have come up. 

Delirious couldn’t help but nod his head dumbly and stood up on shaky knees, Cartoonz was instantly by his side just in case he has another coughing fit and Jonathan eyes burned as he fought back tears that treated to spill. How did he get such amazing friends? How can he cause them so much concern? Is he really going to let himself die from this disease just because he just can’t bring himself to do the surgery. 

As the two boys walked in heavy silence, the memory of the first time H2O Delirious meet VanossGaming came to him. He remember how cold he was towards Vanoss, sure he was cracking jokes and laughing the whole damn time but they both knew that Delirious was trying to determine how worthwhile Vanoss was to his time. Back then the bird mask wearing gang member was new to the whole underground shit show. He was desperate to make connections, he just wanted to help Los santos be something better, something better for the younger generation and H2O delirious respected that. But the new leader still had a lot to learn.

It started off with small favors, too see where Vanoss would go if someone gave him an inch to work with and Delirious was not disappointed. First operation they both did was a robbery towards a rich sleazebag who bribed police and political officials to clean up his act. Delirious was satisfied in robbing the majority of money the guy owned but Vanoss didn’t stop there, he wanted this guys reputation to be ruined, every single bad thing this guy did, he wanted it to come out to the public.

Johnathan should have know he was so screwed all those years ago, but back then he was so ecstatic to see where this all could go. A two man group became 3, then 4, then 5 and then continued growing all the way to the point where they had 10+ members scattered throughout various bases all over Los Santos. There’s still a lot of shit to clean up, it's only been a couple of years but Johnathan is so proud for what they accomplished so far.

So is he willing to abandon everything? To let the flowers take him from his family? 

The obvious answer is no but his heart is crying Yes, he doesn’t want to look at Evan to see him as a stranger. Doesn’t want to give him the cold demeanor he had all those years ago and then turn around and be happy to lucky with everyone else. It’ll be painful, everyone wouldn’t know what to do in that situation; to see him act so indifferent to the Evan. To be so dismissive and to have no concern whatsoever for his well being. 

That’s the danger of the Hanahaki disease, it’s such a stupid disease. Why does it force someone to confess their feelings or they die. Half the time their feelings won't be returned and it forces them to give up everything in order to survive, or it forces them to accept death and causes their object of affection to feel immense guilt.

It’s such a stupid. Beautiful. Unforgiving. Disease. And Jonathan now has to make a decision quickly thanks to the flowers that are growing abnormally fast in his lungs, he doesn’t get the privilege to think of the Pro and Cons. He’ll be lucky to make it through the week. But he can’t face Evan. Not right now, he can barely wrap his head around the situation let alone get the courage to confess, get rejected and then take the surgery. 

If he can even convince himself to get the surgery.

It feels like an eternity but Johnathan and Luke finally make it to his room. The silence between them is deafening but he can't bring himself to look at his best friends face; to see the Anger and Sadness in them. Anger for the situation, Sadness because he understands why it’s happening. 

Luke just gives Jonathan a strong hug and lets him go, even though you could tell that it was the last thing he wanted to do. “I’ll be right here. Remember that okay?” Jonathan tried to smile reassuringly but the petals came back to ruin his efforts. Luke didn't say anything as he rubbed his friends back in a motherly fashion and waited for the fit to calm down. “You would think I’ll catch a break from these fits because of all those flowers I just threw up, but they just keep coming.” Jonathan tried to joke but the depressed look cartoonz had on his face immediately shut down his efforts 

“Sorry.” He rasped but Luke just shook his head “It’s fine” he mumbled and gripped Jonathan shoulder “Rest up okay?” With hesitance Luke let go and Jonathan entered his room and quietly shut the door. To say he was an emotional mess was an understatement, he felt as if he was swaying as he just stood there processing what has just happened this past hour or so.

In the safety of the dark he let himself break down.

❁❋❁❋❁❋❁❋❁❋❁

Jonathan couldn’t be sure when he made it to the bed or how long he was there crying into a pillow to muffle his sorrow but a soft knock startled him out if his downwards spiral of despair. “It’s me.” Lui voice came through the door and Delirious quickly wiped his face to get rid of the tears only to final realize the mess he made on his pillow thanks to the make up. He couldn’t tell if the red staining the cover was the face paint or the blood he coughed up between sobs but it didn’t stop the shame from hitting him full force.

He quickly rolled out of bed and made a beeline to his bathroom, and was momentarily blinded when he turned on the lights. The sight that greeted him made him cringe away as he saw that he looked like a disaster. Red, white and green face paint had left streak marks coming down all the way to his face and neck, his runny nose wasn’t helping him breath and his signature clown smile was just a smudge of red at this point. Petals were stuck to his face as if mocking him for becoming like this.

“Jonathan?” Lui hesitantly asked as he opened the bedroom door and with sudden anger Delirious kicked the bathroom door shut as he don't want anyone seeing what a mess he’s become. He’s supposed to be their 2nd in command dammit, he shouldn’t let them see how pathetic he’s become. He didn't want their pity, he knows that he fucked up, to fall in love with a straight man is the most stupidest thing someone like him could do. No. Falling in love period is the most stupidest thing someone with this type of job can do.

Turning on the faucet to the most hottest temperature the poor sink can manage, Delirious viscously began to scrub the makeup, tears and petals off his face. The hot water burned as it hit his face but it was a good distraction to the suffocating sensation he had these past few hours. He knew he was truly fuck if he was coughing up full grown flowers the first day, he had no time to wallow in his despair he need to make a decision fast. But even thinking about facing Evan caused the petals to come up and force him to clench the sink to cough the vivid red petals past his windpipe. 

It was disgusting, the mucus that clung to the flower, the taste of blood that has become familiar in his mouth, the crunch of seeds between his teeth as he tried to take in greedy gasp of air. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t this just be a crush? Crushes don’t evolve into a death sentence. 

Turning off the tap (because he don’t waste no water even if he’s dying, thank you very much) Delirious looked at himself in the mirror. Truly looked at himself; without the mask and without the makeup. All he saw was a stranger, it was no secret that Jonathan did not like to look at himself. The dark circles, the slightly crooked nose he has thanks to the one fucker at the bar, his face was too lean, his eyes to wide to be considered manly, it was all wrong to him. Cartoonz says he looks fine but does he really? Or is his best friend lying to him to make him feel better?

With a huff Jonathan shook his head to get rid of the age old thoughts, now wasn’t the time to feel self conscious about his face. Right now he has more pressing matters to attend to, ones that could affect everything thier group worked for. He dies then word would spread quickly; the ties and favors Jonathan has would all go to waste. Other gangs would use his family’s mourning to bring out the big guns, tempers would run high, guilt would spread and Evan… Evan would be devastated because he’ll feel that his death would be his fault.

If he has the surgery, than it’ll would only affect group dynamics. Delirious would have to go towards the west group and recover and separate himself from the original 6, give them time to mourn who he once was, who they used to be. Wildcat would most likely be put as second command. They are going to have to forget how their team work with one another, going to have to accept that their original second command won't give a flying fuck what happens to the first command. Won’t be willing to sacrifice his life for him anymore, it will all be strictly business.

Fuck, he can't even bring himself to imagine how Evan must feel through all that. He doesn’t want to cause those emotions just because he got attached. 

There’s always the possibility Evan might return his feelings.

Another self deprecating snort forced its way past the thorns and flowers.That wasn’t going to happen, no need to be optimistic.

A timid knock came from the bathroom door and Jonathan completely forgot that Lui entered his room “I was going to leave you alone after I hear the bathroom shut but… I’m afraid you don't have much time left Jonathan. I … I want to talk with you. Is that okay?” Even though his voice was muffled thanks to the door Delirious could hear how serious and sad Lui sounded.

He looked at the sink to watch the blood drip off the flower petals and even he knew he didn't have much time “I got your mask too, if you don’t want me too see your face. Promise I won't look.” Lui added as an afterthought, A humorless chuckle went unheard as Jonathan couldn’t really give a flying fuck about who saw his face without make up right now but the safely of his mask soothed his racing heart. 

“Ya—“ he coughed as his throat itched “Give me a sec.” he took a deep breath in and punch his chest to get rid of the suffocating feeling but it only helped a little bit. He checked one last time in the mirror to make sure he doesn’t have boogers or anything embarrassing on his face and opened the bathroom door a bit hesitantly. Lui made a point to look at his feet as he offered the mask and Jonathan couldn’t help but feel a warmth enter his aching heart. He has such supportive friends, more than he have ever asked for.

He grab his mask and mumbled a thanks as he saw that they cleaned it from any type of blood it previously had. When he put on the mask, even though a lot of fresh air couldn’t get it, Delirious couldn’t help but breath a little bit easier “So—“ he coughed once more but was glad nothing came out “What did you want to talk about?” Lui looked up from his feet and smiled sadly at the clown “We should probably sit down, it’s a long story. I bought hot chocolate, though thinking of it now, you probably can't drink it with the mask.”

“Don’t underestimate me Lui.”

Lui laughed quietly and walked towards the bed to sit down, Johnthan followed suit and turned on the lamp, only to picked up the two coffee cups on the bedside table and gave one to Lui who mumbled thanks. It took some work but Delirious managed to slid up his mask to take a sip, he was momentarily blinded but the chocolatey goodness was worth it and the suffocating feeling calmed down a bit.

When he fixed his mask Lui was staring at the mug if it held all sorts of secrets, his face was complicated. It was silent for a few more seconds before the squeaker spoke. “If you hadn’t figure it out before, I once had Hanahaki disease.” The world seemed to freeze as the only thing that matter was between these two. “So, I know what you're going through but… I hope my story makes it easier for you to decide what to do.” Lui looked off to the side, his eyes were clearly seeing something that wasn’t there. 

“You know how I was once part of Los Muertos gang back in Minima right?” Jonathan nodded his head yes, after all Evan told him that Lui came to him with the most blankest look in his eyes he had ever seen, eyes that have seen so much shit that it broke him.

It took awhile but Lui healed but there some moments where he’s miles away, and no one can bring him back. They don't know what happened, not even Nogla who basically took him under his wing and became his best friend. “I—“ Lui swallowed as he struggled to form words. With a shuddering breath in and out he continued.

“I was young when I joined the gang, desperate to get away from the shitshow my family life was. I meet the jefe who took me in and made me the best sniper anyone in Minima had ever seen.” Lui shifted on the bed and crossed his legs looking down at his mug with a bitter expression “I felt so proud that I was jefe’s go to guy for tough missions, didn't realize I was a disposable pawn to him, a pinche pendejo yo era” The squeaker hissed but clenched the mug and took in another deep breath to compose himself “Anyway, a few years later a new member joined. His street name was Silentdroidd, I was assigned to show him the ropes, make sure he was loyal to jefe. Ya know?”

A sad smile graced Lui face and he swirled the Hot chocolate in the mug “ He became my Hermano, someone I could go to to just... be there for each other, in that gang it was a dog eat dog world, ain’t no pinche familia there man.” He looked at Jonathan and tried to smile “it wasn’t like this gang, we fought each other with fists, knives, botellas de cerveza when we couldn’t find anything. It was cada puto for themselves out there but being young idiot I was, I didn’t care. The fights were a symbol of how tough you were.” Lui bitterly laughed at his statement and shook his head in disbelief. But grew silent as once more as Lui was seeing something that wasn't there.

“I fell in love with him.” Was the whisper that vibrated throughout the silent room and Jonathan looked at his mug in silent understanding. No tears came from Lui even though you could tell he was sorrowful, that is what the surgery does to a person affected by the disease, the person can no longer physically feel the love or pain that came from the object of affection.

“I fell in love with him, and I was so dam terrified on how he would react that I hid the fact that I got the disease. It was easy at first, a few petals here and there. People used to always get sick over there in minima so it wasn’t really suspicious to why I was coughing, people thought I finally developed asthma thanks to the pollution of the county.” 

“Throughout that whole month I couldn’t bring myself to confess my feelings. I mean how could I? I convinced myself that he only liked me as a brother, I was the one who fell in love.” Lui shook his head, obviously remembering something painful “It came to the point where I didn't have a choice anymore… because Jefe found out.” 

Jonathan quickly looked up from his mug to stare at Lui with growing horror and Lui only smiled sadly in return “I missed a shot, and boss man was livid as to why I missed an important shot that caused them thousands of dollars in drug supplies to be detained by the drug cartel. He demanded for me to get check on the so call asthma situation because he wouldn’t live to see this happen again.” Lui put the mug down on the floor and hugged his knees.

“Obviously I couldn’t keep the flowers a secret anymore could I? A check up quickly turned into preparation for the surgery and I fought tooth and nail against it with everything I had but well… they managed to knock me out. And when I woke up, I-“ Lui voice cracked in anger “I knew I was different. Droidd came to visit me immediately after I was allowed visitors in the poor excuse of a clinic. And the horror on his face when I treated him like a stranger is forever imprinted in my mind.” Tears rushed down Lui face and Jonathan moved to hug him “I… I couldn’t feel anything of what I felt towards him at all, it was like looking through an old video tape, like you can detect the emotion you should be feeling but you don’t.” 

It was silent and Delirious heart was squeezing “Jefe was glad the situation was sorted out.” Lui spit out the words with venom “But he didn’t realize that that moment was his downfall, no… not after what was going to happen next.” Lui clenched his fist “after a month or so despues de la cirugía, Droid came up to me and showed me a vivid orange Marigold with tears in his eyes and a broken smile. He told me that he knew I couldn’t return his feelings because the person who he was in love with was no longer there, taken away by the flowers after the surgery.” 

Lui stood up and began to pace “of course the surgery was recent and I didn't feel any concern at all, I just shrugged my shoulders and said sorry!” He hissed and look so incredibly angry and heartbroken that Jonathan was rooted to his spot. “I told him to get the surgery because it was a lost cause but he just smiled! And shook his head no.” The squeaker stopped all of a sudden and whispered “He told me, that these flowers were the only proof that the Lui he knew ever existed, that his love would have been returned if both of us would have gotten the dam courage to just… talk to each other.” 

With tears in his eyes Lui faced Johnthan “Don’t make the mistake I made, even if Evan doesn’t return your feelings, at least it’s better that you got a chance to confess. I may not feel the love I had for Carlos all those years ago but that dam surgery couldn’t get rid of the anger I had when Carlos succumbed to the flowers. Because that dam bastard took my chance to confess, I never forgave myself for not amarrando me los huevos and confessing, even with the possibility of not having my feelings returned.”

He walked to Jonathan and grabbed him by the shoulder “I know your situation is different, I know this decision will affect everyone, I know your feelings may not be returned but listen to me. I believe it’s better to confess when you still can, tie up loose ends before you either choose to subcumm with the flowers, get the surgery” He chuckled softly “heck maybe you can get rid of the pain faster and be happy in a relationship you never thought possible. Honestly it’s up to you, and Evan. But mostly you. I’m here to support you throughout any decision.”

Jonathan looked at the necklace Lui was wearing without really looking at it “And if I choose to succumb with the flowers?” He muttered and Lui tensed “Then I shall support you, even if it will hurt, I can understand not wanting to go through life looking through a TV at the emotions you once felt.” Lui sat next to Jonathan “but I can tell you this. If you get the surgery, it’ll get better, sure maybe it might not be with us—“ His voice cracked with unshed emotions but Lui quickly compose himself

“Or maybe it will be with us, that’s up for you to decide. But it’ll get better, you’ll learn to accept that what’s happen happened. Heck look at me now, thanks to you guys I finally have emotions again, I’m no longer stuck in an empty husk filled with bitter hatred to what happened.” Lui voice trailed off as he looked at his feet “It’ll take time of course, if you choose to go with the surgery I mean, but you will get better. I’m pretty sure Cartoonz ain’t leaving ya side no matter what and I’ll be here if ya want me to. “ 

Lui looked at Jonathan and delirious realized he was crying “Don’t cry you bitch, you're gonna make me cry—“ Lui said But it was hopeless, both the boys let the tears flow freely and hug each other “I have cried so much I’m surprise I still have tears.” Jonathan mumbled and Lui chuckled sadly “Well you are H2O delirious.” Jonathan huffed and squeezed Lui a bit more tighter.

“I’m not sure I’m going to make it through the week.” Was the almost silent confession that made the atmosphere in the room quickly change. Lui pulled back at look at Johnthan with growing horror “I can feel them growing quickly, there’s so much I feel like I’—“ To further prove his point the flowers came back and caused him to choke mid sentence. He quickly took off his mask and coughed to the side. 

He felt hands support his back and chest and forced him to sit up straight. “Deep breaths Johnny, deep breaths. I know it hurts but curling up will make it worse.” Lui voice shook but with his eyes squeezed shut Jonathan couldn’t tell what look the squeaker had on his face.The episode passed with lucky only two flowers being coughed up with a few petals.

Panting was loud in the quiet room and Jonathan was greatful Lui was there to rub his back and be there to comfort him. “I guess.” He coughed a couple times as he put on his mask again, to try to get rid of the squeezing sensation he had around his lungs “I guess I need to speak with Evan today to make my decision, gives me enough time to either prepare for the worse or hope for the best.” The squeaker looked worried but tried to give him an encouraging smile “Stop being so pessimistic, he might return your feelings?” At the statement Delirious gave Lui the most blankest look he can imagine and it caused the sharp shooter to cringe with an awkward smile. “When he you ever seen Evan with a guy?” 

Lui just shrugged and picked up his hot chocolate again “You may never know man, many people had different sexual orientations.” The clown just huffed and looked down at his hot chocolate “It doesn’t matter right now... I just have to prepare myself for the conversation with Evan. I don't have much time.” Lui nodded his head in understanding and finally took a drink from his mug. A knock interrupted the silent moment again. And Cartoonz voice was loud and clear. 

“We have a situation”

Well looks like it wasn’t a Raccoon then.

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The 5 gang members gathered around the giant plasma Tv that was connected the group call, it was connected to all of the other members of the gang spread throughout Los santos. There is no official rooster who can stay in what base but there was an unspoken agreement that if you liked the base enough you can assign yourself a room, though don't be surprised if another member slept in it when you are not there.

Like how in high-school, on the first day you choose a seat and there’s an unspoken agreement that that seat is yours unless the teacher assigns you one. Because of their job many members come and go, and they need to be where the mission needs them to be, no objections.

Evan, Nogla and Wildcat wasn’t even supposed to be here at the two story base, but Evan wanted to check up on Marcel who was recently injured and assigned here to keep a low profile. The other two tagged along for personal reasons,Nogla wanting to see Lui and Wildcat who forget his leather jacket here. Delirious was here because he recently finished a mission near river park and needed to sleep off the fatigue. Point is. There’s always different members in different bases and everyone must be informed of recent developments that involves the gang hence the communication room.

“What’s up boss man?” Ohm voice resonated throughout the room and a couple of other members questions followed suit. “Delirious.” Evan cut straight to the point, ignoring pleasantries and Jonathan’s heart squeezed at the sudden attention, and it all but forced him not to cough out loud. “Operation: Ring Lord needed to be set in motion.” With that statement, every other problem seemed to matter so little and Delirious focus his complete attention to the operation 

“What do you mean? That bastard been laying low for the pass 4 months, I couldn’t find him.” The clown exclaimed as he stepped up to the touch screen table and brought up files up the files on that specific operation “We got lucky, a stupid Novice lead us to a warehouse where he had no business being in. We did some investigation, it’s a future shipment that been set to be delivered by tomorrow night.”

“Ohm, Lui and Nogla, you have been assigned to be our sharpshooters while Me, Cartoonz, Wildcat and Terroriser will infiltrate the base by the underground bunker we discovered. Mini and 407 I need you to keep the cops away from the disaster were about to do, Confuse their radio signals, cause distractions throughout the city.” They all gave an acknowledgement, Delirious couldn’t shake off the bad feeling he had 

“You’re excluding me out of this aren’t you?” He accused and couldn’t keep his hurt tone out of his voice “Yes. I called earlier but you didn't answer your phone, so when I called Marcel to know what happened to you he told me you were throwing up pretty badly. I know you Delirious, you would hide a sickness just to go on a mission. I can't have the risk right now.” 

“But it’s my operation you—-“ Evan cut him off “I. Know. But we can't risk it! I need everyone at top health to make sure we don't lose any members, you know this. You’ll being doing the exact same thing if I was sick.” Jonathan couldn’t argue with him because he knew it was true but before he could let Vanoss know how he truly felt with some colorful words, The flowers came back.

As he yanked off his mask and he tried to muffle the sound, it was hopeless. He cough and hack the bloody flowers onto the floor in the very silent communication room. Luke was there to support him but it didn't stop the shameful tears to reach his eyes nor did it smooth the anger he was feeling 

“I rest my case.”

“Fuck that sounded bad.”

“It’s cool dude, we got this. You get better.”

“Eat some soup, that’s good for the flu.”

The words became muffled as his vision blackened but Delirious shook his head viciously, he can't seem weak, not right now with everyone. 

“Jonathan.” Evan’s voice cut through the haze“ I know you want to be part of this operation, you have every right to, but your health is more important. We created this plan, so that every variable was put to accordance. We can handle this okay? I don't want you to die on the field just because a sneeze gave away your location or coughing distracted you at a very crucial moment that mean life or death. Just rest okay? We got this.” 

He sounded apologetic if you really focused on his tone of voice but Jonathan couldn’t really focus right now. The small yellow flowers that were part of the Marigold lookalike was clinging to his palm and face and he couldn’t help but smile helplessly. He already is in a life or death situation... but now. Now he made a decision.

He has to get the surgery without confessing to Evan. 

He can’t possibly distract him on this operation they’ve been planning for 2 years. This plan factored in the possibility that one of the leaders couldn’t make it. It didn't factor in the possibility to what would happen if one of the elders was distracted by something or if both the leaders weren't there. The other members don't have that much experience leading operations without some type of overlook.

Vanoss and Delirious worked together for a year or two before they got more official members. When they were debuting, shit was a lot more terrifying and a lot morefucked up than it was now, but they both made it through. Not without some mental problems a course, PTSD and the likes of it but they pulled through and they both helped create this gang of theirs.

No. It was his fault that he fucked it all up. He’s going to get the surgery, they both worked to damn hard for this group to take a blow by his death. Sure it might be awkward at the beginning but it’s as Lui said… it’ll get better. Yes he will not love Evan anymore but that doesn’t mean he’ll hate him and that’s good enough for him, its better than death. It’s better than abandoning his family.

“Jonathan?” Evan asked hesitantly and Delirious looked at the screen with the blue line as he realized they were awaiting for him to reply “I understand, just dont die okay? I’m talking to all of you. If you die, I’m kicking your ass myself.” Everyone on the call gave their own laugh or remark but those who kept silent where the ones who was watching the blood drip down Jonathan's chin. 

Those who have witness him fall today couldn’t help but feel helpless, The ring lord operation has only been a hushed conversation between the two leaders, sometimes it has caused fights but only Wildcat and Cartoonz knew the reason why. It was a sensitive case, to many ears would cause loose lips either by accident or not. They knew it was either now or they had to wait who knows how long to bring down the Ring lord. The lord who has caused so much pain in this city.

“Okay, okay. Calm down everyone. Those who have been assigned meet me at base 4 in around 2 hours from their we’ll begin the operation tomorrow night, we must prepare. Those who haven't been assigned, group up. We can't take risks of an ambush with so many members spread apart. That is all, we’ll keep you updated.” With that final statement the line went dead and the blue line disappeared from the screen. Jonathan numbly wiped the blood off his face and put his mask on again. He then bent down to pick up the flowers that stained the floor with their unrequited love. Cartoonz look like he wanted to say something but didn't know where to begin.

“What?” 

“Why don't you confess to Even right now? Stop this disease before it kills you.” Delirious shook his head no and chuckled sadly “You can't get rid of the disease through a phone call. You must be in person. Haven’t you heard of *cough* those sad stories in the news where a women tried—“ Another cough forced its way into the conversation but Jonathan soldiered on “ —to proclaim her love to her friend who hid the fact he had the disease but it didn't work? Ya they did a study on that, Apparently physically being there is important.” He began to walk out the room holding his bloody flowers “besides, he won't return my feelings and you know that, and this operation is too important to distract anybody, which reminds me.”

He turned on his heel and faces his 4 members, his gaze turned into what they recognized as the leader of the group, not that of a friend “You must put on your A game for this operation.*cough* I’m counting on you. Forget about me and do this extremely important operation with your 100%.” Nogla was the one who made his protest the loudest “But what about you?! Those flowers are already suffocating you! Will you make it through the week?!” Lui put a calming hand on Nogla’s arm 

“Of course I will.” Another cough interrupted him “After all, I’m getting the surgery tomorrow.”

The look of shock passed through all 4 “But, you're not gonna confess to Evan!?” Marcel exclaimed in disbelief and Lui looked very conflicted and sad “No. You know very well how important this mission is. Which I will repeat again. *cough* Forget.. About. Me. Give this mission your 100%.”

“But—“

“That’s an order.” 

All protests were cut off but it looked like they were not done letting their displeasure known. Luke opened his mouth -he always was the one to question orders- but the next words out of Delirious mouth were cruel and he knew it “Do you want me to die?” His best friend recoiled “Because this Lord Ring operation is going to happen without protest from either of you, and I’m going to get the surgery tomorrow, I won't make it another night. These—“ 

Flowers and petals came up again and with blinding anger at the situation Delirious threw off his mask and slammed it on the ground to be broken along with his heart on the floor. The flowers he was carrying joined the ones that was coming from his lungs. This time the fit was a bit longer and the flowers were difficult to breath through “These flowers are growing too fast. Either by my denial or by the fact even they know this love is hopeless.” He finished his statement with a raspy voice. He hacked the mucus covered petals passed his windpipe and was a bit grateful he didn't re-do his makeup this time or he would have looked like more of a mess.

Now that the moment passed Jonathan winced at his anger but didn't say anything as he bent down and piled the flowers onto his mask to make it easier to carry. “Please be safe you 3, I’ll be alive when you come back.” Without so much as another look, Johnthan walked out the door to go back to his room. He has some preparations do after all, so this surgery can go without a hitch.

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4 of the 5 members were gathered around the kitchen counter with a somber attitude surrounding them. 3 duffle bags were already pack and on the couches but even though those who have been assigned needed to be at base 4 in an hour or so, they couldn’t bring themselves to leave the situation at hand. Marcel who was the only one not assigned thanks to his injury was nervously running his hand through his hair and kept glancing at the other three to see them lost in their thoughts. Well accept Nogla, who just looked sad and confused at the whole situation.

“I don't understand.” Nogla said and everyone shifted their focus to him “Why not confess? Maybe Evan will return his feelings no? They’re pretty close after all, I’m sure this mission isn't that important, right?” Cartoonz shook his head no “This mission is everything we have worked towards, when those two began to work together they discovered something big. Something that could change Los Santos for the better or worse but they had no power back then. But now that they do, that bastard ran and we could only find the aftermath of what he did, just barely escaping our reach. So they made a decision, they left him alone so he can lower his guard so we can strike.” Luke gave a sigh and scratched his beard in irritation.

“I don't like this as much as you do but, there’s really nothing we can do here.” 

“But what of we tell Evan”

“Don’t.” Lui cut the Irish man off as he gave him a glare “It’s his decision if he wants his love to be known. And it’s his decision if he doesn’t want this to affect the mission they’ve both been working on for a long time.” Lui let out a shaky sigh “We have to respect that.”

“So are we just not gonna do anything?!” Marcel half whispered half yelled at the 3 as he pulled on his curls “This decision affects everyone guys. I can't imagine Evan and Delirious not being friends to one another.” He pleaded as he gestured around the room with his hands but cartoonz look angry at himself, Lui conflicted and Nogla looked like a kicked puppy not knowing what to do in the situation. Heck none of them knew what to do, the flowers were growing to fast for anyone to make a proper decision.

With a frustrated groan Marcel covered his face with his hands and tried to think of anything to do to help the situation but he came up blank because Lui was right. They had to respect Jonathan's decision; after all, he knows how to make tough decisions when no one else wants to. 

It grew silent again as no one said anything and with a sigh Cartoonz stood up. 

“Come on. We gotta get going guys” it was the last thing anybody wanted to do but they had their orders and if Johnathan wanted to sacrifice his chance to confess for the mission then they’ll do their dam best to make this mission worth it. They’re just not looking forward to seeing Jonathan after the mission, to see him be someone completely different in front of Evan. It’s going to be hard but it’s at least it's better than losing him to the flowers.

With heavy hearts the three gathered their bags and left. Delirious refused to see any of them after he left the communication room stating that he’ll be alive when they come back and he wants to be alone and they can respect that. Nogla and Cartoonz couldn’t imagine how it feels to get the disease let alone one that was growing at an alarming rate. Jonathan needs all the hours he can get to come to term with his decision. 

Marcel now the only one left in the kitchen couldn’t feel any more hopeless than he does now. More members scattered across Los Santos would come together and he can't say or do anything about this situation.

Distant coughing could be heard down the hall past the living room and Marcel ran a hand through his hair again. He’ll be there for Jonathan, he’s not going to let him go through with this alone; that’s the best he can do right now. The best anyone can do right now.

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More members came to the second story house. 

Though they could hear the coughing and throwing up coming from Delirious’s room they did not question it because they already heard it through the group call earlier.  
But it didn't stop them from worrying. It also didn't stop Moo from making soup like the mother hen he is.

Marcel tried to act that everything’s okay that is wasn’t a life threatening disease the group was hearing but the glances Moo kept throwing him means that he wasn’t so successful in acting completely normal.

But come on, being able to deceive was never Marcel’s strong suit that’s why he does the numbers, planning of shipments, budget spending and all that accounting shit. But no. No-one outside the gang believes him when he says he’s smart with numbers, he bets 5 grand it’s because he’s black. 

“There it’s done!” Brock happily exclaimed as he turned off the stove. “Chicken Noodle soup is the best for any sickness.” Kyroz who was chillin on the couch raised his beer in the air and yelled “Fuck Yeah is!.” Which woke up Smi7y who was sprawled on the floor. Who then kicked the blonde in the shin. The colorful cuss words made Panda laugh who was already serving himself some soup.

All this cheerfulness was simply a mask to try to hide their worry about the mission. It’s a little trick they learned so their anxiety doesn’t kill them. 

“I’m gonna go wake up Delirious, He needs to get his nutrients.” Moo stated as he wiped his hand on a dishcloth. A brief memory of the flowers and blood on Delirious face made Marcel stand up quickly and say “I’ll go do that. You make sure these guys don’t eat the whole thing.” Protest from Panda, Kyroz and Smi7y came from the living room as Marcel disappeared down the hall.

 

The soft knock on the door woke Delirious up from hazy sleep he managed to slipped into after throwing up became a bit to painful. “Jonathan?” Marcel voice came through the fuzz that was Jonathan's mind. The clown grunted in acknowledgement as it was the only thing he was willing to put effort into right now. 

“Moo wants to know if you want soup, I can bring it to you if you want.” Food seemed like a reasonable thing to do after he’s pretty much sure he has nothing left in his stomach but the blood and petals he swallowed earlier. 

“Jonathan?” Basically asked again as the silence stretch to thin, once more delirious grunted as he didn't realize he hadn’t answered the question and forced himself to sit up. “Marcel. Come in. I have something to talk to you about.” He mumbled as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and made sure he didn't have any spit on his face. His hand came away bloody but by now he really wasn’t fazed.

Marcel opened the door and peaked in, Delirious was busy shoving his pillows against the headboard to make easier to sit up that he didn't notice Basically eyeing the trash can full of flowers and other disgusting fluids. But when the clown finally shifted his attention back to Marcel, basically had already came in and closed the door.

“Come closer, I know my own team. One of them will probably try to eavesdrop.” Jonathan stated without any anger in his voice. 

As marcel got closer, the light coming from the bedside lamp showed him how truly pale delirious was and how his chest kept stuttering… as if it was too painful to breath. He tried not to look at Johnthan face out of respect for privacy and his knowledge that Johnathan doesn’t like people seeing his true face but it only caused the clown to huff when he noticed.

“Just sit down, I really don't care at the moment.” 

As Basically sat on the foot of the bed, the hopeless feeling that was festering in his chest only grew as he saw the only person who acknowledge his potential when no one else would, slowly dying in front of him. With another raspy sigh delirious sat back on the mountain of pillows he arranged.

“Listen, I know this situation is... not what anybody would expect but it’s happening okay? And I need your help.” Marcel looked at Jonathan with his full attention. “I need you to drive me to the hospital.” He whispered.

Cold dread filled Marcel as he quickly glanced at the trash can with the flowers. “Let me finish before you jump to conclusions Marcel” Delirious scolded lightly as he coughed up the petals itching the back of his throat. 

“I need you to drive me to the hospital tomorrow morning so I can be prepared for the surgery. It’s at 4pm but they need to do x-rays and blood work and all that shit before they put me under.” He shifted in the bed to be more comfortable “It’s a hospital who won't ask stupid questions if you pay the doctors directly, I’m going under the identity of Charles Domic who fell in love with a business associate and I’m not willing to ruin my reputation because of the disease”

A little bit too close to the truth but a lot more easier to remember so no one catches them in their lie. “What do we tell the guys? We can't just leave without raising suspicion.” Basically whispered as he look over his shoulder towards the bedroom door. Another coughing fit interrupted the conversation and Marcel couldn’t help but wince as he saw delirious angrily spit blood covered thorns and flowers into the trash can. 

“Another white lie of course. I’m going to tell then that were going to a clinic to check my virus out. I'll deal with the aftermath and anger once the surgery is done. I can't have the whole team distracted by this disease.”Johnathan voice was wrecked and blood began to drip down the corner of his mouth “Fucking thorns.” He whispered to himself but Marcel heard him.

Basically began to fidget and pick at his nails as he patiently waited for Jonathan to compose himself. “I… I just don't think you should take this surgery without confessing your feelings first.” Delirious made an angry noise and Basically shrunk in on himself because he knew he was poking at a dead horse. 

“I already told you. Do not make me repeat myself again. I will not ruin this mission, it’s too important.”

“But your health—“

“I'll be fine.” The clown hissed as he made direct eye contact with Marcel. “This surgery will happen, I will not confess my feelings and i'll be in perfect health after the surgery. Just drop it okay!” Jonathan whispered yelled. His patience running thin with this dam situation involving the flowers.

Basically looked at his hands and away from the burning anger in his leaders eyes, he feels truly chastised. With a sigh Jonathan rubbed his face and sunk into the pillows exhausted “Sorry. Today has just been a horrible day, didn't mean to scold you like that.” He looked so exhausted that Marcel finally began to see the stress that has been so well hidden.

“Listen, I’m glad you're here for me okay? I want you to know that. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and I’m not going to survive another night with this disease. And Operation Ring lord is something me and vanoss have been planning for a long time, I just can't risk him feeling guilty for not return my feelings in the middle of that okay?”

Marcel was looking at the red flowers with a complex look on his face “Why are you so positive that Evan won't return your feelings?” With that question Delirious looked at the flowers as well and smiled sadly “You don't know Evan for as long as I do.”

He didn't elaborate and Marcel didn't want Delirious to feel worse than he already does by making him explain.

With a heavy heart Basically squeezed Jonathans ankle through the blankets and looked at him in the eyes “What time are we leaving tomorrow morning?” A sad smile spread across the clown’s face “10am” Basically nodded his head in understanding and stood up. “I’ll go get you some soup.” He muttered and walked to the door.

As the door shut behind him Jonathans looked at the flowers again and his sad smiled slipped off his face.

This was it. No more fighting his decision. The mission will continue and the surgery will not be postpone.

It was time to say goodbye to his love.

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Jonathan looked even weaker in the hospital bed than he did at the base and Marcel was sitting restlessly in the hospital chair next to him. 

“Calm down Marcel. You’re making me anxious just by looking at you.” Delirious- or as the hospital knows him as- Charles muttered as he picked at the Iv connected to his hand. “Sorry just.. are you sure no one knows who you are?” Basically whispered as he looked suspiciously around the room “What if one of our rival gangs found out about this and sent a doctor to kill you? What will we do then?” 

Jonathan let out a smile chuckle and looked at marcel with amusement in his eyes “Then they’re going to have to deal with not just Vanoss’s anger but everyone else’s anger in the gang and you know how scary they can be when they’re angry.” Marcel nodded his head in understanding, how can anyone forget their anger? Basically pretty sure only him, panda, chilled and Kyroz are the only ones who aren’t scary when they're angry.

It was nearing 4pm, In the morning the doctors had check the condition of the flowers and stated that yes they needed to do the surgery today or “Charles” would not make it through the night.

Delirious had a calm poker face throughout this whole thing, anybody who couldn’t read delirious wouldn’t have been able to tell that he’s slowly breaking down. His hands keep trembling and he gets this distant look in his eyes when Marcel isn't talking to him.

Basically had asked a few times if Johnathan wanted to be alone so he could properly mourn the feelings he was about to lose but every time Delirious would just shake his head no and smile sadly “I have already mourned enough.” And Marcel try not to pay attention to the red eyes his leader had this morning but this statement made his heart clench.

“Mr.charles?” A nurse asked as she knocked on the door and opened it “The surgery will begin shortly, is there anything you need before we take you?” Delirious clenched his fist and took a deep stuttering breath in “No. I’m fine.” The nurse gave a small sad smiled and motioned for the other nurses to move the bed “Okay, well then we will begin to give you general anesthesia as we make are way there to the operation room.” 

They made Marcel wait in the small waiting room near the elevators as Jonathan was wheeled inside the elevator.

As the door began to close and Jonathan's eyes slid shut Marcel clenched the phone in his hand. He was tired of feeling helpless.

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A sharp ringtone cut through the meeting that was taking place. Evan looked at his phone in annoyance as he made it perfectly clear to all members that those not involved should never call for information right before an operation. 

When he picked up the phone and saw that it was “Delirious 凸(¬‿¬)凸” calling he was briefly confused but then concern because Jonathan only calls during mission planning if he gets new information. “What’s wrong?” Evan answered the phone; skipping pleasantries as his concern got the best of him.

“Of fuck I can't believe I did that. Jesus Fucking Christ I’m in so much trouble when he wakes up. Oh my god.” Evan was thrown in for a loop as he heard Marcel’s panic muttering through the phone. “Marcel?” He asked and the muttering cut off “OH! Evan! Evan!” Marcel yelled as he finally realized that Vanoss picked up the phone 

“Marcel what’s wrong? Why do you have Delirious’s phone?”

“Oh my god he’s gonna kill me for this but I couldn’t just let him do this without telling you anything. He’s gonna kill me. Maybe you’ll kill me too? Ah fuck, this is a whole mess but I needed to do something I just can't let him do this.” Marcel rambled off, he was panicking badly 

Evan began to walk out of the meeting room down the hall “Marcel! What is going on?!” Evan scolded as he began to lose his patience and his concern began to grow. ‘It’s Jonathan.” His world froze as his body turn cold “What about Jonathan?” Evan said darkly as he began to imagine an ambush had taken place “He’s has Hanahaki Disease and is in the hospital taking the surgery. Well he was about to but then I acted impulsively and—-

“Hey you!”

“Ah fuck, they spotted me.” Marcel muttered and you could hear his footsteps running but Evan mind was repeating the same phrase over and over again. Hanahaki Disease. Jonathan had Hanahaki Disease. “Marcel.” Evan voice trembled as he clenched the phone to tightly “Why are you telling me this?” It couldn’t be. It’s not possible.

“Because he’s in love with you!” Marcel hissed and you should hear the scrapping of sneakers down a hallway. That statement caused Evan to grab the wall for support “What?” He embarrassedly squeaked as his face flushed red but then it quickly paled as the situation finally sunk in.

Jonathan was at the hospital getting surgery to get rid of the Hanahaki Disease. A disease for unrequited love. A disease he caused because jonathan's in love with him. Jonathan's in love with him. And he’s about to get rid of that love.

Evan quickly straighten up “Marcel which hospital are you at?” Panting and huffing could be heard through the line and Marcel spoke out of breath “The one near Oakland park, he’ underneath the name of Charles Domic.”

Evan calculated very quickly how fast he can get there by car and cursed when he realized it’ll be an 40 min drive minimum. “Fuck, fuck. Why didn't he tell me?” Evan couldn’t help but ask helplessly as he quickly ran to the kitchen to find the keys to the fastest car he had on the base “because he believed, truly believed you wouldn’t return his feeling, and then this mission happen and then he didn't want to risk it and— shit!” Marcel cut himself off as doors were slammed shut.

“That fucking idiot.” Evan hissed as he grabbed the keys “Wait you said you acted impulsively, what did you do?” Marcel gave a nervous laugh and said through the phone “I might have stopped the elevator by shooting the control panel.” Evan sputtered “Marcel that could have ended badly!” 

“I know! I told you I acted impulsively! I just wanted them to stop.” Marcel whined but then cursed as another door was slammed shut. “Fuck, That really could have ended badly dude, but I’m glad it worked in your favor, it gives me time to make it.” Evan said as he found the keys but dropped them in his haste. 

He then realized he was shaking with adrenaline and was too of an emotional mess to even see straight. Jonathan was dying. Jonathan was in love with him. Jonathan was getting the surgery. He had to move quickly. He had to get there on time.

Cartoonz came out of nowhere and bend down to pick up the keys “Come on I’ll drive you.” As Evan looked at Luke with confusion Cartoonz was already walking to the door “Hurry up.” Evan rushed behind Luke “What about the mission?” Mini asked as the members came out of the meeting room very confused “postpone it, this is more important.” Evan said as he closed the door.

He’s going to make it. God dammit he’s going to kill that clown for even hiding this.

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They ran past red lights, swerved around cars, went way past the speed limit and Cartoonz barely managed to stop the car before Evan threw himself out of it. Marcel came running out of the side door and jumped in the car saying “He’s on the third floor room 214. Take the stairs I manage to break the lock so you won't go through security, they managed to fix the elevator but they had to de sanitize everything again. Now your chance. And DRIVE LUKE! I GOT SECURITY ON MY ASS!” 

Tires screeched as Evan ran inside, pass the policemen that came rushing down the stairs while angrily spitting into their radios describing the Red Mustang Marcel just got away in.

No one paid attention to the dark haired Asian running up the stairs as if hell was nipping on his heels.

❁❋❁❋❁❋❁❋❁❋❁

The smell of antiseptic and small talk was the first thing Jonathan registered as he came out of the medically induced sleep. When he still felt the suffocating sensation in his chest he was confused as to why. When he finally got enough energy to open his eyes he blinked a couple of times to fully wake himself up.

The nurse who was checking his vitals saw that he was awake and gave a small smile “Mr.Charles, sorry about waking up still feeling some pain but there’s been some complications and we had to de-sanitize everything again.” Jonathan looked very confused “Complications?” The other nurse who was typing on the computer at the edge of the room stated “Nothing to worry about, just the elevator decided to stop and when the police manage to open it again they contaminated the bed with outside germs, The surgery will continue in about an hour or so. Right now the best for you is to rest while we prepare for everything again.”

Jonathan looked around to notice that Marcel had gone missing, he had a suspicious feeling but was distracted by coughing up more flowers to be truly bothered figuring it out. 

The door slammed opened and Delirious almost drop the trash can that was offered to him. When he looked at the direction of the door to see who the fuck just came in, his breathing stopped.

“Evan.”

Vanoss was there panting and clutching his knees as he tried to catch his breath but when he heard his name he quickly looked up.

It was as if the world blurred away and the only thing the two could focus on was each other. Then reality came crashing back.

“YOU IDIOT.”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

They both said at the same time but Evan was on a roll.

“How could you believe I didn't love you! You fucking idiot.” Vanoss exclaimed as he came rushing to the bed. Delirious was frozen in confusion but it didn't stop Evan from grabbing the face of his second in command. “How could you believe that the operation was more important than your life?!” Brown eyes shimmered with unshed tears and the nurses were shocked and didn't know what else to do but give them privacy.

“B-but you can't. You couldn’t possible be in love with me.” Jonathan stammered, his world was turning upside down. The flowers came back to try to choke him. Delirious moved his face from the calloused hands of Vanoss to cough up the flowers into the trash can. When the episode passed Evan was looking at the flowers with a sad smiled and plucked on out with his left hand.

“Don’t *cough* it’s dirty.” Jonathan stammered as he tried to reach for the bloody flower but Evan only clenched the flower in his hand and whispered fondly “You idiot.”

 

He then kissed Jonathan. Bloody lips and everything. 

 

Jonathan took a intake of breath in surprise and the suffocating feeling in his chest started to fade away. He was shell shock to say the least and when they separated Delirious was looking at vanoss with stars in his eyes and such a shocked expression that Even couldn't help but let out a huff of amusement.

“Believe me now stupid?” A million things Jonathan could have said to that statement, a million questions, a million concerns that could have been voiced but he just blurted out “How many times have you called me an idiot in the past 5 minutes?”

Evan’s laugh echoed throughout the hallway as he put his head on Jonathan's shoulder.

Things were going to be okay. They were going to be okay. After all, they always have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was soo close to giving this story a sad ending but my tumblr followers forbid it XD

**Author's Note:**

> Red caped Zinnia flowers happy to bloom even though it shouldn’t, it has a strong endurance in unsuitable conditions.


End file.
